Who Am I?
by MoonlightSpirit
Summary: What drove Clare to her new, trampy, look? A combination of arguing parents, boyfriend stealing girls, past mistakes and loss of faith drives Clare to question who she even is. Can Eli save Clare before she loses herself?
1. The Beginning of Change

**So I'm guessing everyone has seen Clare's new (slightly trampy) look in the Degrassi promos? I decided to finally write a fanfic about it. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or the song _Love Story_.**

"Tell me the truth!"

"Why are you overreacting?"

"What am I supposed to think when you won't tell me where you've been?"

"I told you, I was at working late!"

"Why don't you come up with a new excuse? You're cheating on me, aren't you?"

Clare Edward's sat on her bed, her knees drawn up to her chest and her hands over her ears, trying to drown out the sound of her parents arguing. It was two in the morning and her dad had just walked through the door. Clare had been awoken by their shouting.

"Please make them stop," she quietly prayed, tears running down her cheeks, "Please make them stop." But if anything the shouting only got louder and this time it was accompanied by the sound of shattering glass. Clare grabbed her phone off the table next to her bed, pushed a button and held it to her ear.

"Hello?" said a voice groggily on the other end.

"Eli," Clare whispered, sniffling, "Sorry. I know it's late but…can I stay with you tonight?" Lately, if Clare's parent's arguing got to bad, she would stay at Eli's house for the night. Her parents wouldn't even notice she was gone, even though she would leave a note on her bed saying she was at Alli's. She even had a drawer of stuff there.

"Sure," Eli said, "I'll come pick you up." Clare thanked him and they hung up. She got up and threw a jacket on over her pale blue pajamas. She put on turned on her computer, plugging in Eli's headphones and putting them over her ears, letting Taylor Swift's music pound in her ears. The song _Love Story _was playing and Clare smiled to herself. The song reminded her of Eli and herself.

She stared out the window until the familiar headlights of the hearse came into view. Sticking her laptop and headphones in a bag, Clare wrote a quick note that she was at Alli's and snuck downstairs. She could hear her parents arguing down the hall in the kitchen.

Clare opened the front door, ran down the stairs and into the hearse. Eli glanced over and ran a hand through her curls. Clare looked up at him and they shared a silent understanding. They could still hear her parents arguing.

Clare stayed in Eli's room. His parents were rarely ever home. They were business people and traveled a lot. Clare had only met them about twice and they were nice as far as she could tell.

Clare lay down on Eli's familiar black-sheeted bed. Eli wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Clare cried softly into his chest. That was usually how these nights would go. Eli would pick her up, bring her back to his house, and she would cry herself to sleep in his arms.

* * *

Eli softly shaking her shoulder awaked Clare the next morning.

"Clare," he whispered, "Wake up, it's time to go to school." Clare groaned. She didn't feel like going to that uniformed, police infested place they called school.

"No," she mumbled, "Sleep." Eli chuckled and kissed her forehead.

"Come on beautiful," he said, tugging at her hand, "Up. Now." Clare groaned and dragged herself out of the bed. Eli was already dressed in a red polo, khaki's and black shoes. Clare pushed her curls out of her face and smiled.

"You always look so nice in red," she mumbled. Eli gave her his usual smirk and a quick peck on the lips.

"Breakfast is downstairs when you're ready," he said and left the room so Clare could chance. Clare walked over to her drawer on Eli's dresser and pulled out a rag, towel, purple polo, khaki skirt and black ballet flats. She hated even looking at the uniform. She hated what Degrassi had become. It was like a prison with all the police and metal detectors and uniforms. Even the air in Degrassi had changed. It was tense, like a rubber band ready to snap.

Clare washed up and changed into the uniform. When she went downstairs, Eli had a plate of bacon and eggs ready for her on the table. He had already finished eating and was washing his plate.

'Thanks," Clare said, witting down, "I know I must be a burden…"

"Anything for you," Eli said, kissing her cheek. He sat down and waited patiently for her to finish eating. He washed her plate for her and they walked out to the car.

"Now there is one thing I ask of you," Eli said with a smirk. Clare felt a small smile creep onto her face.

"And what, per say, would that be?" she asked, leaning her back against the hearse. Eli put a hand on either side of Clare, trapping her.

"As I'm sure you're informed, public display of affection has been banned from our little school," Eli said, leaning close to her, "And I can't go a day without kissing those lovely lips of yours." Clare giggled.

"What are you waiting for then?" she asked. Eli leaned down and pressed his lips gently against Clare's. Their mouth's and tongues moved together in a way they were already familiar with. Clare pulled back, breathless.

"Come on," she said, tugging on the front of Eli's red polo, "We're going to be late." They both got in the hearse and Eli drove to the school.

Clare watched the building loom into sight, like a dark shadow over the town. Eli took her hand in his.

"It's just six hours," he said, the winced, "Okay, that sounded bad, even too me." He parked the car and they got out, walking toward the school. If you could even call it that any more.

**So there's the first chapter of **_**Who Am I**_**? I hope you liked it! Please Review!**


	2. Competition

**Thanks for the great reviews! Sorry it took me so long, to update, I've been having a bit or writer's block with this story. Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

Clare trudged around school is a half daze. She wasn't sure how much longer she could take this. The police, metal detectors, uniforms random bag and locker searches (an officer just practically ransacked her book bag and locker!) and on top of that, her parents fighting. The only good thing she seemed to have left was Eli.

But even that looked like it was in trouble.

After lunch, Clare went to Eli's locker to walk with him to class. And that's when she saw it. Bianca, shamelessly flirting with Eli at his locker. Clare stormed over to them.

"Hello," she said loudly. Bianca's dark eyes snapped onto her.

"Well, well, if it isn't _Saint Clare_," she said.

"And if it isn't _Bitchy Bianca_," Clare snapped back. She was already on edge and Bianca was about to push her right over it.

Bianca glared at Clare, taking a step toward her.

"You better take that back," Bianca hissed angrily. Clare took a step forward so that they were nose to nose.

"Make me," Clare said slowly.

"Okay, break it up," Eli said, stepping between the two girls, "Bianca, leave." Bianca threw a final glare at Clare before storming off.

"And what was that all about?" Clare said, turning to Eli. Eli shrugged, returning to his locker.

"What?" he asked.

"I saw with Bianca," Clare said.

"Clare, it was nothing," Eli reassured her, "Bianca was just being her usual, annoying self. If I had my way, she'd be in a well right now. A deep one. With piranha filled water. And a turtle." Clare couldn't help but let out a chuckle at Eli's little joke.

"Why a turtle?" she asked. Eli shrugged.

"I dunno," he said, "In my fantasy there's a turtle."

"Are you sure nothing is going on between you two?" she asked. Bianca was what Clare imagined every guy wanted. Beautiful, curvy, big boobs, experienced and easy.

"Positive," Eli said, closing the locker and leaning against it.

"Now onto more important matters," Eli said, "We have about five minutes before the bell rings for class and there happen to be no teachers or police officers down this hallway."

"So?" Clare asked, not getting where Eli was going with this.

"So," Eli repeated, his usual smirk spreading across his face, "I can do this." Eli leaned down and captured Clare's lips with his own. Clare let out a gasp of surprise and Eli took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her sweet mouth, letting it dance with her own. He pressed Clare against the lockers, his hands running along her waist.

Suddenly, someone cleared their throat and Eli and Clare broke apart. Sav was standing there, a stern look on his face.

_Busted, _Clare thought.

"You know the rules," Sav said, "No public displays of affection." Eli and Clare glanced at each other, trying to figure out how to explain what had just happened. But instead, Sav smiled a small smile at them and let out a chuckle.

"Just don't do it in the hallways okay?" Sav said, "Take it to a closet or something." He continued walking to his class and Eli and Clare both let out a sigh of relief.

"That was too close," Clare said, "Come on, we better get to class."

**There's chapter 2! I hope you liked it! Please Review!**


	3. Annoyance

**Thanks for the great reviews! Here's chapter 3! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

Clare was at her locker at the end of school, getting some books that she needed for homework when someone leaned onto the locker next to hers. She grinned, predicting it was Eli.

"Hi…" Clare's sentence trailed off when she saw just who it was. KC.

"Hey," he said nervously, flashing her a shy smile, "Ummm, what's up?" What's up? After cheating on her with Jenna, breaking up with her, getting Jenna pregnant and then breaking up with Jenna, all he had to say was _what's up?_

Clare sighed, feeling a headache coming on.

"KC, what do you want?" she groaned, rubbing at her temples.

"I was wondering if...well…maybe you wanted to come with me to the movies this Saturday," KC said. Clare stared at him as if he grew a second head.

"You know I'm dating Eli, right?" Clare said. It was impossible for him _not _to know. The news spread around the school like wildfire that innocent, pure Clare Edwards was dating emo, bad boy Eli Goldsworthy.

KC's smile faltered and he lowered his voice.

"I just don't think he's good enough for you," he said. Clare rolled her eyes.

"And someone who cheated on me is?" she snapped. KC frowned.

"Clare, it was one mistake-" he sighed.

"A huge mistake," Clare corrected, slamming her locker door shut. She looked over KC's shoulder and saw Eli walking toward them. She let out a sigh of relief.

"What's going on here?" Eli asked, wrapping an arm around Clare's shoulders, "Is he bothering you?" Clare glared at KC.

"He was just leaving," Clare said.

"No I wasn't," KC said taking a step toward Eli, "I was just telling Clare how I don't think you're good enough for her." Eli let out a humorless chuckle and let go of Clare to take a step toward KC.

"And you think you are?" he asked.

"More than you," KC said. Clare saw Eli's hands balled into fists.

"Eli," she said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Let it go." They didn't need another Fitz incident on their hands. But Eli didn't budge.

"KC, please just leave," Clare said. KC looked from her to Eli and back again, then backed away.

"Yeah, keep walking Justin Bieber!" Eli called after him. Clare looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"It's true," Eli said with a shrug.

"Just please don't get into a fight," Clare pleaded, following Eli outside to his hearse.

"He's just such a…" Eli let out a frustrated groan. Clare giggled.

"Trust me, I know," she said, "Just don't let him under your skin." Eli opened the passenger's side door for her, and then got into the driver's seat.

"Can I punch him?" Eli asked, "Just once?" Clare rolled her eyes.

"No," she said firmly, "As flattering it is, no." Eli pouted, jutting out his lower lip.

"No fair," he said, imitating a child. Clare leaned forward and kissed his pouting lips.

"Better?" she whispered with a grin. Eli feigned thought for a moment, casting his eye upward.

"I don't know," he said slowly, "Maybe…" he leaned forward and captured Clare's lips with his own. The kiss was slow and sensual and Clare felt like every nerve on her body was on fire. Her hand slipped around Eli's neck, pulling him closer to her and deepening the kiss.

"Whoa," Eli said, breaking the kiss, "That was…wow."

"What?" Clare asked breathlessly.

"You just not usually so…aggressive," Eli said with a smirk, "It's kind of sexy." Clare grinned and leaned in again.

"But," he said, tapping her lips with his index finger, "We have to get to your house to work on that English paper." Clare groaned. Eli chuckled, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

"Do you want to make out or fail English?" he asked. Clare frowned.

"That's not fair," she said. Eli shrugged.

"Life's not fair Edwards," he said as he started up the engine and drove out of the parking lot.

**There's chapter 3! So this is the second time I've cracked a Justin Bieber joke about KC...I have a feeling that's not stopping anytime soon, he just looks so much like him XD (but cuter ^-^)I hope you liked it! Please Review!**


	4. Change

**Thanks for the great reviews! Here's chapter 4! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

Clare kissed Eli goodbye when he dropped her off in front of her house. She reached the front door only to hear screaming.

_Great, _she thought bitterly. Clare tried to slip inside as quietly as she could, but she could hear her parents screaming in the kitchen.

"I'm home!" she called out, then mumbled to herself, "If anyone cares." Clare went upstairs to her room shut the door and put on Eli's earphones while she did her homework to cancel out the noise. But her parents decided to bring the argument upstairs and even through the headphones, she could hear them. So Clare did the only thing she could think of. She went into the bathroom connected to her bedroom, locked the door shut and cried. She slid onto the floor and cried until she was gasping for breath.

Why was this happening? Her parents were fighting non-stop and probably on the verge of a divorce, Bianca was trying to steal her boyfriend and may succeed, Degrassi was unrecognizable anymore with the uniforms, police officers and metal detectors.

If there was a God, why was he letting this happen? Why would he allow this to happen?

Clare caught sight of the silver ring glistening on her finger. Her purity ring. Clare yanked it off and threw it across the bathroom. It hit the wall and clattered onto the floor.

Why should she believe, trust and promise to a God that let such horrible things happen?

Clare stood up, her legs shaky, and went back into her room. She went to her closet and pulled out a box from the bottom. It was full of Darcy's old clothes.

'Saint Clare' was no more. It was time for a change. For everything to change.

* * *

Eli stood at his locker, waiting for Clare. She was supposed to be meeting him before class. She said she had a surprise for him.

Eli noticed the chatter in the hallway increase. The air itself seemed to shift.

He turned and saw a girl walking down the hall. She was wearing a short red plaid skirt with red suspenders left down, a silver stud belt, black combat boots, gray fingerless gloves and a black corset style shirt with sheer white sleeves. She had pale skin, straight auburn colored hair.

Eli's first thought was that that girl was going to get into trouble for being out of uniform. Then, as she got closer, Eli noticed her bright blue eyes.

"Who are you?" he asked, half-jokingly, half-serious. Clare grinned, puffing out her chest.

"Like it?" she asked. Eli wasn't sure what to think. The hormonal teenage boy side of him noticed how Clare's outfit fit her curves perfectly and wanted to take her right there against the lockers. But the rational side of him was saying "WHAT THE FUCK?" This wasn't Clare.

Eli shook his head, letting out a chuckle.

"What is…this?" he asked, gesturing to her outfit.

"Don't you like it?" Clare asked, that grin still plastered on her face. Eli noticed the bright red lipstick she was wearing.

"Ummm," he said, "What...provoked this?" Clare shrugged.

"I thought it was time for a change," she said.

"You're going to get in trouble," Eli pointed out. Clare shrugged.

"I don't care," she said. Eli raised an eyebrow and pressed a hand to her forehead.

"Are you sick?" he asked. Clare giggled.

"Eli, I'm fine," she said. Eli walked over to the window and stared outside.

"What are you doing now?" she asked.

"Checking if pigs are flying," he said, "Clare Edwards not caring about getting in trouble? I think that's one of the seven signs of the apocalypse."

"Eli, it's a new me," Clare said, "Don't you like it?" Eli wasn't sure what to say. This clearly wasn't the Clare he knew, but who knew what would happen if he said now. However, Eli was spared responding.

"Clare Edwards, to Principal Simpson's office," Principal's Simpson's voice said over the PA system. Clare sighed, rolling her eyes. But she didn't budge.

"Shouldn't you go?" Eli asked. Clare shrugged again.

"I don't want to," she said. The bell rang, warning that the students had three minutes to get to class.

"Well I have to get to class," Eli said pecking her on the lips. But Clare grabbed his head and deepened he kiss, her tongue plunging into his mouth.

"Whoa," Eli said, "Slow down there."

"Come on," Clare whined, pulling her toward him again, toying with the buttons on his red polo.

"Clare, stop," Eli said, taking her wrists in her hands, "What is wrong with you today?"

"What do you mean?" Clare asked. The bell rang, meaning Eli was late.

"Meet me at my locker before lunch," Eli said, closing his locker door, "We need to talk. But now, we both have to get to class. You seem to be in enough trouble anyway." He nodded in the direction of Simpson's office, then started walking to his own class.

"But that's no fun," Clare whined from behind him. He heard her combat boots rush across the floor and her arms wrapped around him from behind.

"Come on," Clare said, then lowered her voice and whispered seductively in his ear, "Play dangerously." Eli sighed, then turned around, taking Clare's hands in his.

"Clare, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Why are you being such a prude?" Clare whined. Eli sighed and glanced at the side doors. There was no guard there now, most of them were searching students entering classrooms.

"Come," he said, grabbing Clare's hand and walking out the door. He worried when she didn't fight him. Clare never skipped school without a fight, although she usually gave in in the end.

He opened the passenger's side door to Morty.

"Get in the car," he told her, "We're going for a drive."

**There's chapter 4! I hope you liked it! Please Review!**


	5. Control

**Thanks for the great reviews! Sorry it took me so long to update. I've had a lot of schoolwork, writer's block, writing fanfics for my latest obsession, the TV show **_**Vampire Diaries**_**, and I've been sick the last few days. But I'm better and back and here's chapter 5!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

Eli and Clare drove in silence for a few minutes until Eli pulled Morty into the parking lot of The Dot. They got out and went inside. It was mostly empty since everyone was at school. Peter looked up from his spot behind the counter.

"Shouldn't you two be in school?" he asked, then did a double take on Clare.

"Clare Edwards?" he asked in disbelief, "Is that you?"

"Two coffee's please," Eli said. He felt like he was going to need the caffeine to deal with this. He and Clare took sat a table toward the back.

"Now talk," Eli said, "What's going on with you Clare?"

"I just wanted to try a new look," Clare said, "I'm tired of being 'Saint Clare'."

"Clare, I know you," Eli said, taking her hand in his, "There's more to it than just this." Clare avoided Eli's dark green eyes. He knew her too well.

"Is this about Bianca?" he asked. Clare's eyes snapped back onto him, cold with anger.

"Why would this be about her?" she snapped. Eli shrugged.

"I dunno," he said, "I thought that maybe you would be jealous of her or something."

"Why would I be jealous of her?" Clare spat. Eli felt he was digging himself into a hole. Peter set the coffees down on the table, glancing at Clare in confusion one more time before walking away, shaking his head.

"Well then tell me what's wrong?" Eli said, growing frustrated.

"Why can't you just accept it?" Clare shouted, "This is me!"

"No it isn't," Eli persisted. Clare glared at him.

"So you're not happy with the new me," she said, "Now what? Are you going to break up with me?" When Eli didn't answer right away, Clare grew worried.

"Oh my God, you're breaking up with me!" she shrieked, standing up.

"I didn't say that," Eli said, putting a hand on Clare's arm, but she jerked it out of her arm.

"Clare, I just want to help you," he said sincerely, "But you won't even tell me what's going on."

"There's nothing to tell!" Clare shouted, feeling tears burn in her eyes, "I'm going home." Clare ran out of The Dot. She heard Eli calling her, but she ignored him and ran. She ran until she reached her home.

But the minute she opened the door, she heard her parent's voices screaming. She raced to the stairs, but a stack of papers on the coffee table in the living room caught her eyes. Once specific word jumped out at her.

_Divorce._

Clare squeezed her eyes shut, fighting back tears until she was safely in her own bathroom, locking the door behind her. She sunk onto the cold tile floor and sobbed.

Nothing was working. She thought that if she changed, maybe it would catch her parents attention and they would stop fighting for three seconds. And maybe Eli would notice that she could be just as sexy as Bianca. But her parents were getting a divorce and Eli was angry with her.

Clare had always had perfect control over her life, but now everything was falling apart.

She reached over to get a tissue…and caught sight of the razor blade resting on top of the sink…

She just wanted the control back…

Clare grabbed the razor, the silver of the blade glinting malevolently under the bright light.

She bought it to her wrist…and in one swift movement, slashed it across. She let out a small gasp of pain and watched the blood drip from her wrist, an odd feeling rushing over her.

"Clare honey, are you home?" she heard her mother's voice call out in her room, "I thought I heard someone come in."

"I'm in the bathroom," Clare said, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Oh, well dinner is ready," her mother said. How could she sound so calm when everything was so wrong?

**There's chapter 5! I hope you liked it! Please Review!**


	6. I Don't Know

**Thanks for the great reviews! This chapter will incorporate what has been in the latest promos for Degrassi. I know its out of order, but what Clare said just fit so well with the story :) Here's chapter 6! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

"Clare, Eli's here!" her mother called upstairs.

"Coming!" Clare called down. She was in her regular uniform today and her hair back in it's usual curly style. She may have abandoned her sexy look, but she had another idea to keep Eli from wandering away to girls like Bianca.

Three new red marks joined the one she had made with the razor yesterday.

Clare slipped on her Degrassi sweater, making sure the sleeves covered the marks. She slung her backpack over her shoulder. Eli was at the bottom and smiled a bit when he saw her.

"Back to normal," he whispered so that her mother couldn't here. Clare gave him a small smile.

"Guess I just went momentarily insane," she said. Clare said goodbye to her mother and followed Eli outside to Morty.

They talked a bit on the way to school.

"You really didn't like my look yesterday?" Clare asked suddenly. Eli reached over and took her hand in his.

"It wasn't you," he said, "You're beautiful just the way you are Clare." Clare smiled at him as he laced her fingers through hers.

They finally arrived at Degrassi and went through the metal detectors before heading to their lockers.

"Clare Edwards, to Principal Simpson's office," Principal Simpsons voice said over the PA system. Clare sighed and Eli glanced at her.

"I'm going to be in _so _much trouble," she groaned, "I better go." Eli gave her a quick kiss and said, "Good luck," as Clare trudged to Principal Simpson's office.

She stood in front of the dark wood door labeled _Principal Simspon_. She sighed and stepped inside. Principal Simspon looked up, surprise running quickly across his features.

"Take a seat Ms. Edwards," he said, "And close the door behind you." Clare did as she was told.

"I understand you were out of uniform yesterday," he said, "And that you and Elijah Goldsworthy cut school."

"I wasn't myself yesterday," Clare explained, "I'm going through some…stuff. Eli was only trying to help me." Principal Simpson nodded.

"Well, you seem better today," he said, "I'll let you off with a warning, but don't let it happen again, okay?" Clare nodded.

"Now go," Simpson said, "You'll be late for your first class." Clare exited the office to find Eli waiting for her outside.

"How bad?" he asked as they walked to their lockers together.

"Just a warning," Clare said, "It could have been worse."

* * *

The day passed by in a haze for Clare. She went over her plan over and over again in her head. It couldn't fail. It just couldn't.

Eli met her at her locker after school and they walked to Morty together. Once again, the ride was filled with small talk until they reached Clare's house and got out of the car. Clare stared up at her house.

"What's wrong?" Eli asked. Clare bit her bottom lip nervously.

"I want to spend the night with you," Clare said, the words spilling out before she became to cowardely to say them. Eli raised an eyebrow at her.

"What?" he said.

"My parents," she said, "The arguing. It's too much. I just need once night away." Eli looked at Clare oddly.

"You're not telling me the whole truth," he said slowly. The rushed way she had said her excuse…something just didn't seem right.

So Clare tried plan B.

She crushed her lips against Eli's, making him stumble back into Morty. Her lips moved in a frenzied, passionate way against his.

But Eli thoughts didn't seem to follow hers. He pushed her away, dark green eyes wide with shock.

"Clare, what are you doing?" he asked. He ran hand through his dark hair.

"First the outfit and now this?" he said, "This isn't who you are." Clare felt tears spring to her eyes. In a matter of days, her life had been turned upside down. Everything she thought she knew turned out to be false. Innocent, religious Clare seemed to be a distant memory, replaced with rebellious, unsure Clare.

"I don't know who I am!" Clare shouted. Eli wrapped her in his arms, letting her cry into his chest. Her hands gripped his shoulders as if it was the only thing keeping her on this earth.

"I don't know what to do Eli," she sobbed into his chest. Eli rubbed her back soothingly and kissed the top of her head.

"It's okay Clare," he whispered, "It's okay." And that's when he saw it. The sleeves of her sweater had pulled up slightly when she held his shoulders…revealing four angry red marks. Eli suddenly pulled away, grabbing Clare's wrist.

"Clare, what is this?" he demanded. Clare looked down at her wrist, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Nothing," she whispered, averting her eyes away from Eli. Eli took her face in his hands, forcing her to look up at him.

"Clare, have you been cutting yourself?" he asked, his voice firm. Clare's lower lip trembled as she chocked out, "Yes."

**There's chapter 6! Evil cliffhanger, I know, I couldn't resist ^-^ I hope you liked this chapter! Please Review!**


	7. Promise

**Thanks for the great reviews! Here's chapter 7! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

Without a word, Eli led Clare back to Morty. They drove. Clare didn't know where they were going. She didn't care at this point.

Eli stopped in front of his house and Clare hurriedly rolled down her sleeves to hide the marks.

"My parents aren't home," Eli muttered. He got out and opened Clare's door before leading her into the house. He closed the door behind them and took Clare's hand in his. They sat together on the large, brown suede sofa. Eli rolled up the sleeves of her sweater.

"Why?" he asked, gingerly touching one of the scars. Clare swallowed hard.

"It helps," she muttered, "With the anger. The hurt." Eli looked up at Clare, brushing a curl out of her face.

"Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?" Eli whispered. Clare sniffled as a tear escaped her eye.

"What's wrong Clare?" Eli asked softly.

"Everything," Clare said, her voice breaking as tears fell down her face, "My parents are arguing and probably getting a divorce, Degrassi has all these stupid rules and police and uniforms, it's not even the same school anymore, and you don't want me as you're girlfriend-"

"Clare where would you come up with such an absurd idea?" Eli asked.

"Well, Bianca was flirting with you," Clare said, "Drew fell to her temptation, who's to say you wouldn't too? And then I tried to dress and act sexier to get you to want me but you just kept pushing me away-"

"Clare," Eli said, taking her face in his hands, "You don't have to change for me. I love you just the way you are." Clare's eyes snapped up to Eli's face.

"W-What?" she stammered. Had Eli just said he loved her?

"I love you Clare Edwards," Eli said, "I love everything about you. I love how you're so innocent, but so feisty. I love when we argue and you challenge me. I love that you're so caring and loving and peaceful. I love how you're not afraid too call me out when I'm being an idiot. I love how you blush, how you bite your bottom lip when you're nervous, how you crinkle your nose when you don't like something. Clare, I love you just how you are." Clare's bottom lip trembled and this time, tears of joy instead of sadness fell.

"You'll get through this, okay?" Eli said, wiping her tears away with his thumb, "But please, don't harm yourself like this." Eli let one hand softly run over the red marks on her pale arms.

"Promise me," he murmured, "Promise me you'll never do this again." Clare nodded, sniffling a bit as she wiped away tears.

"I promise," she said. Eli wrapped her tight in his arms and Clare started sobbing. She let out all the hurt and anger and sadness she had been holding in for so long.

"Let it out," Eli whispered into her ear, stroking her hair soothingly, "Let it out." Clare sobbed until she eventually cried herself to sleep. Eli gently laid her head in his lap.

He was watching TV when his mom came in. She looked at him in Clare with her green eyes that he had inherited.

"Can Clare stay here tonight?" Eli said, "Things are really bad at her house with her parents." His mother nodded.

"Sure," she said with a smile, "Take her up to the guest bedroom. I'm pretty sure that will be more comfortable for her than your lap. And make sure to call her parents to they know where she is and let me talk to them." Eli chuckled. Moving Clare as little as possible, he picked her up bridal style and walked upstairs. He took her into the blue painted guest room and gently laid her on the bed. He tucked the covers in around her and kissed her forehead, whispering in her ear, "Goodnight Clare." He was at the door when he heard Clare's sleepy voice say, "Eli?" He turned around to see Clare looking at him with half-lidded eyes, a smile on her face as she said, "I love you too."

**There's chapter 7! I love how cute this came out! I'm probably going to do one more chapter. I hope you like this! Please Review!**


	8. Who I am

**Here's the final chapter! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

Unable to leave Clare's side, Eli fell asleep in the armchair next to the couch, holding Clare's hand. He was roused from his sleep when something heavy was draped over him. Eli opened his eyes slowly to see his father standing over him as he draped a blanket over him.

"I thought you might get cold," his father said quietly as to not wake Clare, "Why don't you go to bed? She'll still be here it the morning." Eli shook his head.

"I want to stay with her," Eli murmured, looking at Clare. His father looked from Eli's face to Eli and Clare's intertwined hands.

"You really love her, don't you?" his father asked. Eli nodded and his father placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm glad you found someone like her," his father said, "After Julia…" There was no need for him to finish the sentence, they both understood.

"It's nice to see you smile again," his father said. Eli grinned at his father who rumpled his hair.

"Goodnight son," his father said.

"Goodnight dad," Eli said.

* * *

Clare awoke the next morning to Eli looking over her.

"You stayed here all night?" she asked. Eli nodded, brushing her hair out of her face.

"You didn't have too," Clare said, feeling slightly guilty that he had been sleeping in the armchair all night while she had the bed.

"It's okay," Eli said, "I wanted too." Clare smiled up at him.

"You're parents came over this morning and bought a change of clothes for you. And my mom got you a towel and wash cloth" Eli nodded toward the Degrassi school uniform at the foot of her bed.

"How are you feeling?" Eli asked. Clare smiled widened.

"Better," she said.

"Do you want some breakfast?" he asked. Clare nodded.

"Get dressed and it'll be done by the time you're downstairs," Eli said, placing a soft kiss on her lips before leaving. Clare got up, feeling oddly rejuvenated. True, the sight of her school uniform still made her heart drop and wanted to do nothing more than chuck it out the window, but her anger and sadness from the past few weeks seemed to have dissipated.

Clare got washed up and dressed before coming downstairs, where she was greeted to the smell of bacon. Eli stood at the stove, already in his uniform. She couldn't help but notice how nice he looked in red. At least the new uniforms had one positive side.

"Breakfast is ready," Eli said, "My parents already left for work so I made breakfast."

"You cook?" she asked as Eli placed an omelet and bacon onto two plates.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Eli said, "I'm a man of many talents." He placed Clare's plate in front of her. It certainly smelled delicious.

"What's in the omelet?" Clare asked.

"Cheese, bacon and ham," Eli answered, taking a bite of bacon. Clare took a bit of the omelet.

"Mmmm," she moaned, "This is delicious." Eli chuckled.

"Told you so," he said, "By the way, my mom called the school board to complain about the conditions of Degrassi. She thinks we're living in a police state." Clare smiled as she thought of the first day after break, when she had said almost the exact same words to Alli.

"She's not the only one," he said, "She said a lot of parents are unhappy about how the school is being run. Principal Simpson means well, but he's gone overboard." Clare smiled hopefully.

"So maybe we'll get some of the old Degrassi back soon," she said.

"Looks like it," Eli said. They finished up their breakfast and Eli washed their plates before they got their bags and went out to Morty. Eli drove the short distance to the school. Clare looked up at the school, which had become more intimidating with the new rules. Eli got out the car and walked around to Clare's side to open her door. He took her hand as she stepped out of the car and closed the door behind her. Eli squeezed her hand encouragingly.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked her, "We can cut if you're not up for it." Clare shook her head, her auburn curls bouncing.

"No way," she said, "Simpson already gave me a warning, I can't get into anymore trouble." Eli grinned and pressed a long, loving kiss to Clare's lips. She smiled against his lips. He slowly backed away, still grinning as he said, "Now that's the Clare I know and love."

**THE END! I'm excited for tomorrow's episode, although thanks to the fact that there's no TV in my dorm and the cable at my college doesn't have TeenNick, I'll have to wait until the episode is online or on iTunes to watch it :( But anyway, I hope you liked my fanfic! Please Review!**


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